13 y/o Sexual Harassment — What will happen?

Question

I am the parent of a 13-year-old. He has recently gotten involved in sexual harassment. He iMessaged a girl some very, very inappropriate messages (eggplants, inappropriate cussing, etc) at school ~1 month ago. We just now got a letter that we need to attend an Intake Conference on the 25th.

Details:
-- We are in Oklahoma (Norman)
-- He had confessed and took it upon himself to right an apology letter to the girl.
-- He has no previous history of this, other than asking some girls sexual questions that they allowed him to ask & a history of porn.
-- He barely knew the girl.
-- The age difference was roughly 4 months.
-- We pulled him out of his public middle school and put him in an online school.
-- This is his first legal offense ever. (Other than drug possession, but there wasn't enough evidence from the school to warrant them to charge him)
-- We have gotten him psychologically tested for sleep issues and because of this. No results yet, but the psychologist stated he wasn't a danger to society. She also gave us a notice stating that he had attended.
-- We have gathered his med. records, school records, and other requested documents. We do not have his social security card.

My Questions:
-- Whats the difference between a charge and a referral?
-- What do they do at an intake conference?
-- Do I need an attorney?
-- Will they (NPD) need to forensically investigate his electronics?
-- What is the sentencing for Sexual Harassment?
-- Is it sexual harassment? On the referral it states "Threat / Harass.".
-- What will they already have on record?
-- Can he be arrested if the intake officer deems the family or him unfit for society?

My lawyer has stated I can fully disclose this information without legal consequence. I'd appreciate as much input as possible. Thank you.

Answer 1

You don't say who is telling you that you need to do these things, and it does matter. Educational institutions are required to maintain a discrimination-free environment, so if a student makes inappropriate remarks to another student, they have to address the matter (if they ignore it, saying "Boys will be boys", they can get sued). They will have previously spelled out procedures for addressing such accusations, which probably include giving a good talking-to to the guilty party, and maybe some harsher sanction like suspension. The school district might then have in mind a parent-teacher conference, with the underlying threat being to turn the matter over to the police: did the letter come from the school district?

A minor can commit a crime, such as assault or threatening: in Oklahoma, this includes Ok. Stat §21-1172, which makes it a crime to send a message that is obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy, or indecent, and a first violation of the law is a misdemeanor. For an adult, the penalty can be a year in prison and $500 fine, but that is unlikely for a minor. There may be a hearing in Juvenile Court with some disposition, and if the charges are proven then the court has wide latitude in meting out punishment. Did the letter come from the juvenile court system?

The Oklahome law regarding children and juveniles is here. When the Office of Juvenile Affairs engages in "the intake process", they are investigating the case to make a recommendation to the DA. "Intake" is defined as

a mandatory, preadjudicatory interview of the juvenile and, if available, the parents, legal guardian, or other custodian of the juvenile, which is performed by a duly authorized individual to determine whether a juvenile comes within the purview of the Oklahoma Juvenile Code, whether nonadjudicatory alternatives are available and appropriate, and if the filing of a petition is necessary

Since "intake" is juvenile justice jargon, I assume this is a legal proceeding, not a parent-teacher conference. An actual criminal charge might result from the hearing, which is brought about by a referral. Because detention is a real possibility, consulting an attorney is wise. Whether or not it is a good idea to have the attorney present for the proceeding is something only your attorney can say (in his professional judgment). There is really no way to know in advance what they already know.