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If I orgasm multiple times during sex and I am to exhausted to continue but my man partner continues to thrust in me then is he raping me or is it ok because it started out willing on both of our parts? I asked him to stop but he didn't and I cried and begged.

  • What jurisdiction are you in? Did you want him to stop? – bdb484 Dec 4 '18 at 5:42
  • Alabama. And yes to tired to keep it up. – Tammy Dec 4 '18 at 5:45
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    If you think you've been raped you need to seek personal help with someone and talk about that, not here. If you are thinking of taking legal action against your partner you need legal advice, and this site is not the place to get that either. – Brandin Dec 4 '18 at 6:31
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    @Tammy - while I don't have enough knowledge to write this up as answer, if you feel unsafe you have the option of going to the authorities. It's not up to you to decide whether what your partner did was lawful - that's for officers of the law and the legal system to do. Based on what you've said, this could be considered rape, yes. – jimsug Dec 4 '18 at 7:11
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The question is not properly framed in terms of the law: the relevant question isn't in terms of achieving orgasm or not, it is in terms of consent. Is it rape to continue having sex, when one party withdraws consent? In North Carolina, following State v. Way (rather sparse on details), consent explicitly cannot be withdrawn. In Illinois, on the other hand, under 720 ILCS 5/11-1.70(c)

A person who initially consents to sexual penetration or sexual conduct is not deemed to have consented to any sexual penetration or sexual conduct that occurs after he or she withdraws consent during the course of that sexual penetration or sexual conduct.

In South Dakota, it is not clear. In State v. Jones, 521 N.W.2d 662, there was a proposed jury instruction stating

An act of sexual intercourse does not constitute rape, where the female initially consents to the act, but after penetration, withdraws her consent, and the male, without interruption of penetration, continues the act against the will of the female and by means of force.

The proposed authority for such an instruction was the California case People v. Vela, 172 Cal. App. 3d 237, where it was conclude that continued intercourse after consent is withdrawn is not rape. But the South Dakota court rejected that ruling and instruction, and the defendant was convicted. But: the court also found that the victim submitted, and didn't consent – in other words, South Dakota has not definitively answered the question. The California finding was ultimately overturned by the California Supreme Court in re John Z, finding that

A woman has an absolute right to say “no” to an act of sexual intercourse.   After intercourse has commenced, she has the absolute right to call a halt and say “no more,” and if she is compelled to continue, a forcible rape is committed.

The general answer in the US that it is legally undecided: it is definitely decided in California and Illinois that intercourse past the withdrawal of consent is rape, and in North Carolina that it is not. This article cites other case law, but on average, it has has not been clearly determined if continuing intercourse after withdrawal of consent constitutes rape.

  • Worth noting is that State v. Way is from 1979. It's still good case law, but I wouldn't rely on case law regarding consent from 40 years ago, no matter which side I were on. – Michael W. Dec 4 '18 at 21:30
  • Is the state of the legal profession such that 40-year-old case law is no longer considered settled? (assuming no intervening statue amendments) – Viktor Dec 5 '18 at 16:07
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    It is also worth noting that the State v. Way decision said that although the act was not rape if consent was withdrawn during intercourse, it might be another crime. It also said that if there were multiple separate acts of intercourse, and consent was withdrawn before one of them, persisting without consent would be rape. – David Siegel Dec 6 '18 at 2:40

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