Recently I found my entire real bio family along with a stepfather who was listed as my bio father on my birth cert. from his kids, I learned my history and what happened to me when I was 0-5 years. I learned so many bad things and almost nothing positive about the first 5 years of my life. So much to tell but most of it isn't relevant to this particular question directly.
(We were both 5 years old at the time of this incident)
I was in the bathroom with my step sister and apparently, she came running out with her pants around her legs and bleeding from her private area. The family immediately took me and gave me to the state that day.
I have zero memory of this ever happening and we were both apparently 5 years old when this event happened. It has been suggested by friends and bio family that this might have never happened and was just an excuse to get rid of me by my stepfather and stepmother but from the time I have spent talking to my step sister and the rest of her side of the family I have no reason to think they are lying to me. trouble is I will never know for sure and can only assume they are telling me the truth and as such, I hate myself and feel like a horrible monster and really kind of just want to disappear from the world if you catch my drift. I decided to see a therapist and went to see her and I attempted to discuss the situation as its a HUGE part of what brought in to her but she heavily suggested that I don't bring it up because she will have to report anything suspicious in this particular topic. IDK what to do because I need to discuss it but now I'm worried I will get arrested or something else and this has only exasperated how I now feel about myself. I just don't know what to do to resolve this issue but the question is pretty much what's going to happen if I talk to her about it?
I cannot express to you how it feels to find out that you were abandoned by your family at age 5 for something you never knew you did and to realize every bad event in my childhood was all my own fault and stemmed from this one event. not to mention how horrible of a person I feel like I am.