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Recently I found my entire real bio family along with a stepfather who was listed as my bio father on my birth cert. from his kids, I learned my history and what happened to me when I was 0-5 years. I learned so many bad things and almost nothing positive about the first 5 years of my life. So much to tell but most of it isn't relevant to this particular question directly.

(We were both 5 years old at the time of this incident)

I was in the bathroom with my step sister and apparently, she came running out with her pants around her legs and bleeding from her private area. The family immediately took me and gave me to the state that day.

I have zero memory of this ever happening and we were both apparently 5 years old when this event happened. It has been suggested by friends and bio family that this might have never happened and was just an excuse to get rid of me by my stepfather and stepmother but from the time I have spent talking to my step sister and the rest of her side of the family I have no reason to think they are lying to me. trouble is I will never know for sure and can only assume they are telling me the truth and as such, I hate myself and feel like a horrible monster and really kind of just want to disappear from the world if you catch my drift. I decided to see a therapist and went to see her and I attempted to discuss the situation as its a HUGE part of what brought in to her but she heavily suggested that I don't bring it up because she will have to report anything suspicious in this particular topic. IDK what to do because I need to discuss it but now I'm worried I will get arrested or something else and this has only exasperated how I now feel about myself. I just don't know what to do to resolve this issue but the question is pretty much what's going to happen if I talk to her about it?

I cannot express to you how it feels to find out that you were abandoned by your family at age 5 for something you never knew you did and to realize every bad event in my childhood was all my own fault and stemmed from this one event. not to mention how horrible of a person I feel like I am.

  • Is the age of criminal responsibility in your jurisdiction more than five? (I would expect the answer to be "yes"). – Martin Bonner Feb 28 at 14:14
  • Roughly how old are you now? 25? 65? – Martin Bonner Feb 28 at 14:19
  • I am now thirty-six years old. – TheIcePhoenix Mar 1 at 10:01
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Assuming that the age of criminal responsibility in your jurisdiction is more than five (I don't know any jurisdictions where it isn't), then you can't be arrested for this.

It is possible that the therapist will have to report the information, and it will appear on your record if you apply to work with vulnerable people. On the other hand, if your parents put you up for adoption aged five (but kept a sister), they will have had to explain why - and that is likely to have been recorded (unless this is so long ago that record keeping was much more lax in those days).

I would recommend finding a different therapist that is more comfortable being told about these things.

You might also need to consult a lawyer for a short while (they will often offer a 30 minute free consultation).

  • I disagree that a therapist "has to" report that a patient was told something by a half-brother who says he heard it from somebody else, but it is true that they may wish to do so. – Tim Lymington May 4 at 12:24
  • @TimLymington There may be a statutory requirement for them to do so (depending on jurisdiction). – Martin Bonner May 6 at 8:16

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