I want to file a Federal criminal (not civil) complaint
You can't. Only the US government can do that.
https://www.uscourts.gov/faqs-filing-case
Individuals do not file criminal charges in U.S. district courts. A criminal proceeding is initiated by the government, usually through the U.S. attorney's office in coordination with a law enforcement agency. Allegations of criminal behavior should be brought to local police, the FBI, or other appropriate law enforcement agency.
There is an analysis of the relevant law in the case of Smith v. Krieger, No. 09-1503 (10th Cir. 2010).
In his second
claim, [Smith] sought to prosecute crimes allegedly committed by the defendant judges
against the United States. Mr. Smith claimed he had “inherent authority” to raise
his first claim under “the Ninth and Tenth Amendments of the United States
Constitution.” Id. at 51, ¶ 255. With respect to his second claim, he contended
he was “authorized to prosecute crimes committed against the United States by
virtue of his inherent authority as co-sovereign, pursuant to powers reserved
under the Ninth and Tenth Amendments, and crimes committed against his person
and/or property in particular.” [p.13-14]
[...]
Mr. Smith’s second claim fares no better than his first. Congress has by
statute conferred the power to prosecute crimes in the name of the United States
on the United States Attorney General and his delegates. See 28 U.S.C. §§ 516,
519. The long-standing view of the Supreme Court is that such power is
exclusive. See, e.g., United States v. Nixon, 418 U.S. 683, 693 (1974) (“the
Executive Branch has exclusive authority and absolute discretion to decide
whether to prosecute a case”) (emphasis added); id. at 694 (“Under the authority
of Art. II, [§] 2, Congress has vested in the Attorney General the power to
conduct the criminal litigation of the United States Government. 28 U.S.C.
[§] 516.”); The Confiscation Cases, 74 U.S. 454, 457 (1868) (“Public
prosecutions, until they come before the court to which they are returnable, are
within the exclusive direction of the district attorney . . . .”) (emphasis added).
Therefore, as the district court concluded, Mr. Smith has no right to initiate a
criminal prosecution in the name of the United States under the Ninth or Tenth
Amendments, or otherwise. [p.19]
Smith was fined $3000 for bringing this frivolous and "abusive" case (which included several other claims besides this one.)
Also of note is the 1973 US Supreme Court case Linda R. S. v. Richard D.. Here, Linda R. S. took a slightly different route: in effect, she sought a court order requiring her local district attorney to prosecute Richard D. for a state crime. (Or rather, she sought to enjoin the district attorney from declining to prosecute him.) The Supreme Court ruled:
The Court's prior decisions consistently hold that a citizen lacks standing to contest the policies of the prosecuting authority when he himself is neither prosecuted nor threatened with prosecution. See Younger v. Harris, 401 U.S. 37, 42 (1971); Bailey v. Patterson, 369 U.S. 31, 33 (1962); Poe v. Ullman, 367 U.S. 497, 501 (1961). Although these cases arose in a somewhat different context, they demonstrate that, in American jurisprudence at least, a private citizen lacks a judicially cognizable interest in the prosecution or nonprosecution of another.