TL;DR Roommate pooped in my bed as punishment for me not flushing. Which one of us can demand for the other to move out? Has a law been broken?

I live in one of those old buildings that has bad water pressure and sometimes the toilet flush doesn't work. Like it brings the poop back up. And if it's used too often it takes 5 minutes to load etc.

Landlord claims it can't be fixed (probably just being cheap).

Anyway, I live with this guy who is really sensitive about the toilet being flushed. And he has complained to me multiple times. I don't always have time to stand there five minutes, so to be fair, a couple times I have been in a hurry and flushed it, hoping for the best. But I regularily find his remains in the toilet too and I just flush it, like a normal person does.

So yesterday I come home and I find a turd on my bed. He claims its there for me to learn a lesson. I think it's sick. I don't know if he took a shit on my bed or fished it out of the bowl, either way that is F**ed up and I don't want to live with him anymore.

I told him he has to move out. He insists I have to move out.

Who is in the right here? I feel like this would be classed as some sort of niche crime. There must be some legal protection against people pooping in your bed.

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    It would depend on the terms of the lease and the size and "Bristol Stool" consistency of the turd. – Clint Eastwood Jan 23 at 17:54
  • Bristol Stool consistency? Is that like the kurek scale lol – ThatKeelie Jan 23 at 17:55
  • It is a turd classification system. – Clint Eastwood Jan 23 at 18:00
  • Can you name the jurisdiction you're in? Country and if U.S. or Canada, State or Province will suffice. If anywhere else, nearest major city (Consider an hour-two hour drive to the city if you must.). – hszmv Jan 23 at 18:44
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    @mongo: As discussed in my answer you don't need a sanitation code violation. It's potentially Assault under many readings of the rule... and it's a gross overreaction (pardon the pun) to what is not even a crime under any definition. I have the same plumbing problem too. Shit happens (I kept puns out of my answer, but I'm sorry I can only resist so much.). – hszmv Jan 23 at 19:07

You should probably call the cops as this sounds like it could be assault, which covers a number of actions that would inflict or threaten bodily harm (typically if paired with Battery, then "Battery" is the infliction and Assault is the threat of action). Assault can be considered in cases such as spitting upon someone or unwanted exposure to bodily fluids... while what you described is neither of these things, I would say any judge and cop would be well within the spirit of the definition of "unwanted exposure" portion of some laws, though it's highly jurisdiction specific (and depending on where, it might be a case law since it's not something that happens every day).

If you have any evidence that it happened, be prepared to turn it over to the cops as well (I really hope you took pictures of this just for evidence documentation. If not, it's not all lost. Did you text him when you had your justified WTF? outrage at him? That works too. I have more ideas, but as I said, jurisdiction is important.).

I would also look into filing for a restraining order in either case as the crime is probably not gonna keep him away for long. Again, you are accusing, so you need to show some evidence.

You should also notify your landlord in a way that will not alert him right away. Your landlord is ultimately going to have to deal with eviction stuff, not you. I can imagine that in the lease, there's some wording about Health and Safety as well as property damage that can be invoked by the Landlord.

After you contact the landlord, take anything of value you own and leave for some temporary place you can crash. If you have family or friends in the nearby area, ask if you can crash with them. Otherwise check into a hotel for a few days if you can afford it. Speaking from personal experience, I've done the "my roommate is in trouble with the law and I informed the Landlord" and he did not take the eviction process well (he trashed his own bedroom while I was out and when I finally returned to get my other things, I discovered he had broken into my room and trashed mine as well and then hid the damage to make it look like I did it. The Landlord had enough sense to not believe the evidence).

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  • If you want the roomie to leave, I would suggest you consider NOT removing your stuff and doing anything which could be construed as abandoning the property. – mongo Jan 23 at 19:15
  • @mongo: Not all his stuff... stuff which is not easily replaced if he goes worst (I'm talking about electronics (computers mostly), a weeks worth of clothing, any items of sentimental value). You're not pulling a moving truck up and taking your furniture... you're just taking things that you do not want to find destroyed and have to wait for renter's insurance to pay out on. It's a buggout. And so long as you pay your share of the rent, there's no rule saying "leaving for a little bit constitutes abandonment.). – hszmv Jan 23 at 19:28

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