According to legend, Santa Claus engages in certain behavior every Christmas eve.

How many felonies does he commit?

  1. He sees you when you're sleeping ... Peeping Tom
  2. He knows when you're awake ... Stalking
  3. He comes down your chimney ... Breaking and Entering
  4. He knows if you've been bad or good
    • Invasion of privacy
    • Harassment
  5. He operates a factory
    • Kyoto Protocols?
    • Clean Air Regulations?
    • Operating a business without a license
  6. He makes toys
    • Trademark infringement
    • Patent infringement
  7. He makes books and music
    • Copyright infringement
  8. He makes elves work for him for no pay ... Labor law violations
  9. He operates a flying sleigh:
    • Numerous FAA regulations violations
    • Numerous breeches of sovereign airspace
  10. When the sleigh is on the ground:
    • Speeding
    • Lack of proper licenses, insurance and registration
  11. He transports valuable cargo internationally:
    • Crossing international borders without a passport
    • Tariff evasion
  12. He doesn't file tax returns
    • Failure to pay gift taxes
    • Failure to file a tax return
    • Tax evasion

This is just a partial list.

Jurisdiction: Worldwide

  • 2
    I think you've litigated Santa out of existence. Dec 27, 2017 at 19:22
  • Can't forget his reindeer. Forcing them to run/fly all around the world in one night? and have you seen that giant whip from Polar Express? Nov 24, 2020 at 18:02
  • RE #3: OBJECTION! Santa was invited into those homes. The defense presents the following evidence: * Many of the alleged victims had left out plates of cookies and glasses of milk as a gesture of hospitality. Some of them were even accompanied by notes saying "For Santa". * Millions of letters from children specifically requesting that Santa visit their homes and deliver specific gifts.
    – dan04
    May 19 at 21:59

2 Answers 2


There appears to also be bribery of local officials as well.

Not to mention, He operates with impugnity out of "The North Pole" which is I believe a TRADEMARK of a certain (now aging) USA male porn actor.

I'm SO guessing that Santa is gonna appear out of nowhere, when the arctic oil drilling rights are being carved out among the abutter nations...and he's going to sit his fat tuchie all over those rights. Yaw, biotches! SANTA be in da hous!

EDIT: it's almost certain that if Santa delivered a "My Little Pony" doll to little Elise in Akron, Ohio, USA...he violated a bevvy of Bern convention laws around intellectual property.

Come to think of it..."Santa" is somewhat of a MODEL for "China" when it comes to IP law...

  • 1
    Not just local officials, Santa bribes national governments too! NORAD tracks him every year, and yet they don't use their intel to capture him. Then again, maybe they do have an order to arrest Santa, but nobody wants to get put on the naughty list. Dec 14, 2017 at 4:27
  • I don't think a trademark claim by a porn star would hold up. There is no risk of consumer confusion due to the very different industries they are in, it's questionable whether Santa is using it in "commerce", and Santa was using it first.
    – D M
    Dec 14, 2017 at 5:09
  • D M, good points, all...but what if Santa leaves a porn video in one of the stockings, hung by the chimney with care? Also, if the porn star in question, a certain Mr. North, was to stand a safe distance from the flaming yule log, would he be "hung, by the chimney, with care?"
    – dwoz
    Dec 16, 2017 at 18:27
  • @Thunderforge: Or there are no arrest orders on Santa and NORAD tracks him as per mission to track any unusual objects in flight. Given the North Pole origniantion of the Flight, knowing where Santa is could be vitally important as the trajectory of inbound Soviet/Russian missiles would cross over the Polar region separating the two countries. If NORAD did not have eyes on Santa, we could have a Weird Al Style Christmas at Ground Zero!
    – hszmv
    Jun 5, 2018 at 19:13

According to Wikipedia.

Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father 
Christmas, or simply Santa, is a legendary figure originating in     
Western Christian culture who is said to bring gifts to the homes of   
well-behaved ("good" or "nice") children on Christmas Eve (24 
December) and the early morning hours of Christmas Day (25 December).

He is a legendary figure, not a "person". It's almost impossible to enforce any kind of legislation to him, regardless it's the US, UK or even the EU. Is he much of a human entity? He's magical.

He makes children happy, so why spoil his fun anyway?! :)

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