I met a girl on an internet forum who expressed how she at 17 years old liked an older man (a 50 year old). As I am someone who had a similar experience (but I was an 18 year old woman, so legal) she asked me for advice on her situation.

I'm still hesitant as to whether I want to "help her out" or not since that could be considered grooming. Although I haven't given her any advice yet, I have advised her against some things. For example, she expressed how she wanted to wear something "sexy" to get his attention, to which I said that could be a bad idea. She also wants to hold off on anything until she turns 18, then ask him out. But I feel like even advising her from this frame could be illegal since it could seem like I'm encouraging her to pursue him.

To the extent of my knowledge he hadn't groomed her, since according to her she basically fancied him when she saw him for the first time. They met at a formal event and only engaged in small talk, he didn't flirt with her in any way. I would also like to add that I don't know her real life identity or where she's from, nor does she know mine, but her name sounds western.

  • 1
    it could be misconstrued as grooming?
    – sisisi
    Commented Jun 4, 2021 at 20:18
  • 3
    Who's grooming who?
    – user35069
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 8:27

1 Answer 1


You’re an adult, she’s an adult, he’s an adult

At least in most western jurisdictions. Age of consent is usually 16-17 depending on other factors.

There are no illegalities involved in consensual relationships between adults. This is a matter for your conscience, not the law.

  • 2
    Not legal while she is 17 in Florida, according to the news, . Commented Jun 4, 2021 at 23:39
  • 1
    @GeorgeWhite why do you think any of them are in Florida?
    – Dale M
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 1:13
  • 3
    A prominent Florida Congressman is widely reported in the U.S. to be close to being indicted for "child sex trafficking" of a 17 year old female. To see a flat declaration that a 16 year old is an adult (presumably everywhere in the world) under these circumstances struck me a requiring a comment and narrowing of the answer. Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 2:13
  • 2
    @GeorgeWhite the word used in the answer is “most”
    – Dale M
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 3:48
  • 4
    Unfortunately this handles the less interesting situation. The more interesting one: The girl is not old enough yet. And you give her advice "Do nothing until you are old enough because you will either get this man into deep trouble or he will reject you because he doesn't want to get into trouble. On your xxxth birthday, go after him. "
    – gnasher729
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 15:34

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