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I face a possible dilemma. My company offers paid time off (PTO) for the bereavement of not only immediate family members but also some extended family members, such as grandparents, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, nephews, and nieces. And the company's Human Resources (HR) requests an obituary to verify the relationship. This leads to a problem because obituaries do not always include the names of surviving extended family members. This applies to me because I applied for the PTO for my nephew who recently passed. And I do not know if the eventual obituary will name my nephew's surviving aunts and uncles. And I will not bring this up to my sibling or any other of my nephew's immediate family members while they deal with far deeper grief than me.

I am wondering if US companies can legally use a background check service to verify extended family members to verify extended family members for the PTO bereavement benefits.

I understand that some people fraudulently claim a relationship with someone who passed, so I completely understand why HR wants some type of verification.

What are the legal options for a US company to verify extended family relationships for bereavement benefits?

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    Not an answer to the question, but if I were in your shoes I'd request the paid time off and provide the obituary. If you're not named in the obituary and they ask for proof of the relationship, ask them what documents they would like. At the very least, your birth certificate and those of your nephew and sibling will suffice, but I doubt they would go that far.
    – phoog
    Commented Dec 16, 2023 at 16:57
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    Mine, my brother's, and my nephew's birth certificates would definitely suffice, but asking my brother for his and his recently passed son is a big burden. I already made the request. But I would love to provide my company with a less burdensome solution because this can happen a lot in a large company. And more so for the death of grandparents, aunts, and uncles.
    – James Goetz
    Commented Dec 16, 2023 at 17:11
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    Of course. I imagine that they would accept such documents somewhat later. But are you sure they're going to seek firm evidence that the deceased really was your nephew? The obituary seems more useful as evidence that someone has died than with respect to the relationship. If they place such weight on an obituary mention as proof of relationship then people with common names would find it fairly easy to commit fraud. (And frankly the chance of error on the part of a background check service seems to me to be higher than the likelihood of fraud.)
    – phoog
    Commented Dec 16, 2023 at 17:42

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US companies can legally use a background check service to get any legally-obtainable information. There is no central repository of family relations, so there is always the possibility that there is no proof of the relationship, other than a personal attestation (which the company may or may not accept), also a possibility that the company will not accept findings from Spokeo and the like. Birth certificates of living people are not general public records, but in your state you might be able to obtain a non-certified copy of a sibling's birth certificate.

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  • I was wondering if a company could legally use something like Spokeo, which typically can indicate extended family relationships by searching for three people. In this case, searching for me, my brother, and my nephew would indicate my relationship with my nephew. And I also understand that the Spokeo results are not definitive. However, it could help a company to reduce fraudulent claims of extended family relationships. As long as it is a legal option for my company, I will recommend it to my company if they ask me for a possible solution.
    – James Goetz
    Commented Dec 16, 2023 at 17:32

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